I can't drink

People always ask me why I don't drink. Thing is, I can't. I've tried, believe me - there's nothing less enjoyable than being surrounded by people who can drink who get drunker and drunker by the minute as I sit there stone cold sober.  And joke all you want about how every group needs a designated driver but joke's on them because I drive a Mini.

But that's neither here nor there.

I can't enjoy an alcoholic beverage. Not much of one anyway because my body reacts to drinking like a child who's allergic to peanuts. NO, it won't kill me, but my throat gets tight, my face turns red, it's hard to breathe, my heartrate goes way up and then I vomit. Over and over till I'm clear of alcohol. Sounds like fun right? And I've tried everything - inhaler, eating first, eating DURING, water, building up a tolerance by just drinking through the pain... no dice.
I've read in various places that it's because Asian people lack a certain enzyme that metabolizes alcohol. In the NY Times today, they had an article about that enzyme (or lack thereof) and how, when my body reacts that way, it's actually trying to protect me from getting cancer.

I'm butchering the reasoning/research. So here's the article.